By Mike Taggart MBE, White Ribbon Ambassador and Trustee, and Detective Sergeant at North Wales Police

I was only a teenager when my life changed forever.

My mum was killed by her husband, my stepdad, the man who said he loved her. It is an outcome that is far too common.

On average, two women each week who are killed by a current or former partner.

This act shaped every step I’ve taken since and led me to today. Growing up, I had dreams of becoming a performer, which I was able to do, but not until after my stepfather was no longer in our lives.

I became a police officer, with ambitions to work within public protection and continuing my advocacy work beyond my day-to-day duties.

Today, I’m a trustee and ambassador for White Ribbon; the charity that works to prevent violence against women and girls by addressing the root causes of male violence.

Between 2018 to 2023, there was a 37% increase in recorded violence against women and girls. At least one in every 12 women are estimated to be a victim of male violence every year, with the exact number thought to be much higher.

The message is loud and clear: It starts with men. We need to encourage men to hold themselves accountable to women and to each other. Through this, we can affect positive change and transform harmful cultures.

Growing up, I was subjected to my stepdad’s misogynistic and homophobic tirades. He would belittle my choice of activities, insisting I do something more “masculine” because men box, they don't dance.

Police visits to my house growing up inspired me to join the police; to help people. For six years, I worked in uniform responding to 999 calls before I joined the protection of vulnerable persons unit as a domestic abuse officer, and later became the strategic lead for domestic abuse, stalking and honour-based abuse.

Working directly with victims of domestic abuse, I enabled them to get support, empowered them to leave, and worked with other agencies to implement safeguarding strategies.

During the pandemic, with victims stuck at home with perpetrators, my role led me to working with supermarkets and food banks to include support leaflets in food deliveries and handouts. I organised online seminars for hairdressers and beauticians ahead of lockdown lifting, to ensure people could access support.

It was apparent that the main victims were women and children. This fact doesn’t dismiss men as victims, but it does highlight that things must change to safeguard women.

White Ribbon – which was first brought to my attention by my sister who was using their pin badges as wedding favours – has already done so much to raise awareness; working in collaboration and focusing on positive culture change.

When I became a White Ribbon ambassador, I proudly wore my badge, which sparked the idea to have White Ribbon’s displayed on all response vehicles. The idea grew. I consulted with local authorities and 1,300 taxis across north Wales now display the same White Ribbon stickers. My own local authority agreed to light up local landmarks in white lights on White Ribbon Day.

Vigils take place across the country – from north Wales where members of the public and emergency services showed their joint solidarity to outside the Senedd where politicians, organisations and survivors came together, and I shared how mine and my families’ lives were forever changed because of an act of gender-based violence.

The key message of White Ribbon is allyship. It’s about men taking responsibility to challenge negative behaviours, every day, to stop violence against women and girls before it starts.

More widely across Wales, there are many great projects working to support young men to understand what they can do to challenge male violence against women.

The Sound campaign - a platform for young men in Wales to sound out what they are feeling and get advice – has already seen the Football Association Wales, Cardiff Blues and artists from Sage Todz to Chroma sharing Sound advice to support young men to have healthy relationships.

Working in collaboration, they’ve spoken to, and worked alongside, young men across Wales to engage them in the solutions to gender-based violence. Providing men with positive role modelling and trustworthy advice, Sound, most importantly, encourages open and honest conversations amongst male peers without fear of judgement.

This year, it has included a special collaboration with White Ribbon to create a guide for young men to explain how they can be a “Sound ally”, and what this action can mean for the whole of Wales.

Through my work in this area, I’ve had to reflect on the steps I need to make to change my behaviours and attitudes. All men need to understand that they can, and must, have a role in ending violence against women and girls.

It all starts one act, one conversation, and it makes all the difference.